追书网 > 武侠仙侠 > 一剑飞天 > 评委 煜棋点评一剑飞天

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  本文笔法纯熟,文笔流畅有韵味,文风也比较好,颇有古风,故事交代得很清楚,文章整体也比较有条理,读起来很舒服。

  

  开篇写的是主角父母的事,交代了前因,主角的父亲楚青石是第一刀客,在与慕容婉儿比试之后产生恩怨情仇,再带来后续的事,小剧情能够推动主线的发展,能够为主线服务,一件事推动另一件事,环环相扣,故事比较清晰,也比较有看头。

  

  文文有个比较明显的优点,就是画面感特别好,尤其是打斗场面特别好,描绘得绘声绘色,序章以及两个雨夜,描写都很好,可以让读者看到一幅幅播放的画面,这样很好,很容易将读者拉入故事里。

  

  文章的代入感多是由主角的行文视角而产生的,本文的行文视角还是不错的,因此相应的代入感不错。悬念设置方面比较一般,好多事情都是正面描述的,比如序章里面写的起因,比如逍遥子所做的一切,有时候适当地做点悬念还是比较好的,能够吸引读者。

  

  人设细节刻画也都不错,从刚开始的父亲母亲和慕容婉儿的性格刻画,再到后面的夏芸,都还可以,不过也有不足的地方,比如逍遥子这个人就比较平庸,毫无特点,作为主角的师傅,他有一定的分量,而且这个人刻画好了还是比较重要的,主角与父母的感情没那么浓,但与师傅的感情肯定是有的,把师傅的性格写得鲜明一点,到时候好多事情写起来就比较有冲突感,人物不一定多么完美和高大上,但必须鲜明,让人一看就能记住。继续努力~!

  

  

  

  数字君有话说走过路过不要错过,看得爽了赏个钱嘞!

  

  

  赏作者贵宾票:亲,您还没登录噢,马上or

  

  

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